Deb – Oh And By The Way, They’re Fake and They’re Fantastic!

My mother was a granola cruncher.  She was also cheap.  Despite the howls of protest she endured during my childhood, she went on to pass down the “frugal” gene to every generation since – me including.   I just can’t bring up my mother without noting that:

A) She was a granola cruncher.

B)  She was cheap. But not in that way.

C) She made up a lot of bad recipes, which were Granola-Induced Labours of Love (read burnt 100% whole wheat bread, and scorched 100% whole wheat with no butter crackers).

D) Despite her bad recipes and burnt turn-out, I loved to watch her make bread.

E) I miss her a lot.  She died 3 1/2 years ago.              

Now what does cheapness have to do with granola crunching?  Ummmmm….well, today granola crunchers have it tough.  To be classed with the ubergrunge fare, one must buy the best organic there is.  And the closer to homegrown, the better.   This means mucho denero at the cash registero.   Alas it is prevalent to have the granola superiority complex, you know, the one where buying organic assuages us of global guilt and hey! they TOTALLY have dollar stores in Africa too!   Sigh.  Not that I don’t love crunchers or organic, or homegrown, or global guilt, or dollar stores, or my mom…. its that I’m too darn cheap to buy into granola crunching today.  I figure all that global sacrifice early in life did me all the good it’s going to do and I will eventually die just as happy non-organic as if I had died organic.  🙂   Although in my opinion, ALL foods at the grocery store should be organic, homegrown, and definitely not from any country where they eat DDT for breakfast and should be  just as cheap as the regular chemical-laden grown a million miles away food.  Off the soapbox, my super cheap, ultragranola mom’s “special occasion” foods, which she bought, made, and served to commemorate the good times in our lives (birthdays and Christmas) – were FAKE.    Regular, untainted, whole foods just didn’t cut the mustard when it came to having a Rocking Good Time with my mom!  It was expensive and FAKE all the way!  Woot woot! haha.   Here are some choice selections!   

FAKE MEAT!

MORE FAKE MEAT!!

FAKE COFFEE!!

FAKE MILK!

AND GAG EVEN MORE FAKE MEAT!!  Just for the record –  Nuteena comes from the toilet!! 

OY!!!!  You mean Egg Beaters are actually 99% real?  I’m going to assume right here that the 1% FAKENESS is pure rubber.   Taste, texture, and smell don’t lie.

I took a vow when I got out on my own, when I eventually settled down, and when I  became responsible for nourishing small people that Real is better than Fake.  I turned from my vegetarian ways and became a carnivore.  A selective one, but still.   Real meat, real eggs, real butter, real milk.  And it made me real fat.   Lesson learned:  In losing weight, if you can fake it, you can make it!  **Although do not eat anything with aspartame. 

I think my mom would have been so proud of me with this recipe!  And the special occasion is ME – a healthier me.  And I’ll probably absorb the higher cost of fake eggs 99% Real Eggs and Rubber, considering I’ll probably be around for a bit longer.   Thanks for the gift of me, Mom!

They’re Fake and They’re Fantastic Egg Casserole – serves 6 

3 points per slice.  Using real eggs = 6 points per slice.

Ingredients

  • 1 carton Egg Beaters or Egg Creations (Cheese-N-Chive)
  • 1 real egg!                      
  •  2 cups zucchini (grated, squeezed and drained)
  • 1 cup cottage cheese
  • 1 cup tex-mex or cheddar cheese (grated)
  • mushrooms 4-6 medium
  • 1 bunch asparagus (with mushrooms, sautee until softened) 

Directions

  1. Mix everything in a bowl.
  2. Pour the mixture into an 8 inch square baking pan that has been sprayed with Pam.
  3. Bake in a pre-heated 375F oven until the eggs are firmly set and golden brown on top, about 35-40 minutes.
  4. Enjoy!

The beauty of this recipe is you can use any flavor of fake eggs.  Southwest, Cheese-n-Chive, Regular, Vegetable.

Or you can use any kind of add-ins or veggies.  Broccoli, red/green pepper, bacon, chives, onions, sausage.

Or you can use any kind of cheese.  Swiss, Gouda, applewood cheddar (my favorite!), havarti.

Of course, you’ll have to figure out the points for all your add-ins. 

So I encourage you to get out there into the trenches, troops and feel around!  Maybe you’ll find some Fantastic Fakes too! 😉

To add to the fakeness, they are adapted from Closet Cooking   http://closetcooking.blogspot.com/

which was adapted from Kalyn’s Kitchen http://kalynskitchen.blogspot.com/

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