I had a big huge ah-ha moment this weekend. Nothing to do with weight loss (cause in case you didn’t notice, I gained). I had an off-chance conversation with my sister who said a turn of phrase that, with a little research, explains the last 12 years and definitely this past week. Axis 1 diagnosis = x. “Gaslighting”. Look it up. It’s worth your while. The Gaslight Effect Google Books
Though I am up re: weight I’m not giving up. And no people pleasing here… I’ll continue to plod along like Forrest Gump until I break free of my braces that support me and from the fences that lock me in, and run free… as free as the wind.
Here are some pics I took this weekend , from trolling the “food is my witness” aisles to a glorious walk and frisbee day. The pain of never being good enough was quieted this day. It was never about me.
12 years; 9 together, 5 bad, 3 unimaginable, 1 grieving, 1 of learning, 1 of trusting, 1 of blessing, I understand now how it happened.
so I could
and *snicker snicker*
and from inside, give myself
to break the chains of insecurity
I see you.