Amber — for now — a poem

Here is a poem I wrote called “for now”.  It’s about observing yourself, your thoughts, emotions, body language in the moment you are experiencing and just being present to it.

I have found that being “present” to yourself is a very important part of health and balance.  You get to know what’s going on in your head, feel what kind of energy is occurring in your body — negative, positive, joyful, repressed.  It’s an opportunity to converse with yourself and check in, which is especially helpful when you find focus waning or distraction setting in.

for now

i bite the corner of my cushiony lip

and count the symmetrical lines in the pavement

as i walk in no direction in particular

green grass finds a way to grow in cruel places

black and white

i would never dream of stepping on it

i am sure these second-hand shoes

are my  soul mates

a thrift store cinderella

i’ve been used before

hoping for another chance at beauty and belonging

to be a thing that is loved

despite the obvious wear and tear

no need to break me in

calluses on writing fingers

a battle on paper to win back my lost territories

cold finds my exposed skin

and the blood runs away scared

knuckles white and empty

like abandoned seashells

i swaddle myself for warmth

in my widow-black pashmina

the heaving up and down of my chest

transformed into a nebulous secret

hidden underneath

coffee, cream and rambunctious cinnamon

sing a loud and comforting refrain on my tongue

…this will do for now

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