Deb – Upon Pain of Death I Will Post – Da Funk!

Okay Ambo, ya done tole me once, twice, and three times a lady… I. Must. Post.Today!!!!!!  Hell ya da post!  I gots to say, howeva, what’s got me on the dole this past week has been plainly, DA FUNK!

It’s been hittin me on da bax of my thighs and gettin all up in da house!!  This ain’t just no funky bunch,  it don’t smell like funk, it don’t taste like funk, but it show does sound like FUNK!

Fur realz… ok, can’t keep pretending I’m doin homewerk forevah… so I’ll just get to da post.

Here’s the :

Food for the week:

Counted points during the day… at night it fell apart like I was making out with a GeriCurl on a satin couch.  uh uh uh!

I have no excuses… I am in da funk.  Da funk that says:

1. This is too hard and I’m just wasting my money on diet food.

2.This is too hard and I’m not even losing any weight (according to guideline!!!).

3.This is too hard and nobody even cares if I fail or not.

4.This is too hard and I’m sick of dieting and being given the “fat shoulder”.. or the “up and down snear”or the whatever it is skinny people do that pisses me off. Damn you skinny bitches…. a sista’s got it goin on too ya know!!!

5.This is too hard and I can’t even visualize myself past the end of tonight let alone:

a) Myself in paris.

b) In a salsa club – being ASKED to dance.

c) At my high school reunion 30 pounds lighter and Funkin HAPPY about it.

d) Not giving a rip and just sticking to the damn points.


Emotional state:

  • Sooooooooo not good.  Not happy.  Not fulfilled.  Not enlightened.  Not motivated.  Not<fill in the blank>.  So, phone call to sis… da sista dat’s lost 10% of her body weight so far and still kickin it!!  Also full of sound diet advice and lonely diet world advice.
  • Fact:  It’s a hard, cold, cruel world out there.  Better believe it and get on with it.  No one is going to care if you lose weight… you’re the only one who it matters to and you gotta want it BAAAAAD.
  • Fact:  If you feel no one likes you at dance class because of the massive sweatiness that is a funk sister’s mambo…. lose weight, go back and show em who’s boss on the dance floor if no where else. TMI, but funk it.
  • Fact:  You might as well buy diet food because you gotta eat anyway.
  • Fact:  Most of the people from high school are going to weigh upwards of 20 pounds of what they weighed in high school…and being able to lose 30 pounds in 3 months is still losing 30 pounds (and HALF my lowest goal weight of the year).
  • Fact:  Paris will be great no matter what… and Italy.  And just being fabulous and I’m making a plan not to bring a pair of jeans with me to wear just so no one can accuse’ me of being a touriste.  Haha!!! Parisians… I’m gonna fool ya!
  • Fact:  A loss is still a loss…. even if it is less than 1 pound.  It’s not a gain.  Must be doin sump-in rite!

Water Count:

  • Doing better.  Some days replacing clear elixer with voodoo brown chocolate from the coffee tree.  Tsk tsk, but..

Exercise for this week:

  • Putting food in my mouth.  My poor body is becoming sadly deconditioned… how do I know?  Every walk up that stupid hill from the parking lot I get more short of breath.  My pants are tight. Okay reallly tight.  I have to do something.  Do I want it baaad enough?  30 pounds in 3 months… hard slave labour for 3 months,  and planning my life around food/diet/and making life run smoovely so I can do this?!?!?  Well, the come on line is good… and since I’ll be buyin the food anyway… soul sistas right…

Good things about this week:

Going to get my hair cut tomorrow and get my new driver’s license tomorrow.  Strikes a pose.

Waiting for GLEEEEEEE and Top Model, but more Gleeeeeee!!!

I gots some wize up lessons from da masta… so, signing off…


5 thoughts on “Deb – Upon Pain of Death I Will Post – Da Funk!

  1. Oh. My. God. I think I just peed myself…right after putting on a fresh pair of dainties. Shiz, sista, you sure know how to express yourself! I’m glad you posted, oh Partner In Creme. I know what da funk feels like and I truly believe WAMY (with all my heart) that YOU are gonna grab this weight issue by the balls and turn it all around. It’s true that you have to care about it even if nobody else does, but I hope it helps you to know that I support you in this, I am invested in you reaching your goals, and you and I are gonna GIT ER DONE! Blog it out, you. Blog. It. Out. LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Blog away sisters, blog away. I know you’re both strong and wanting enough to do this!!! Think of Paris, think of sweaty salsa dancing, think of pretty underwear that you buy just for yourself!!!!!

    Love you both and be strong. You. Can. Do. This!!!!


  3. Thx you 2!! I’m a bout to bust-a-move today. Droolz… pretty underwear.

    I think I’m going to make myself a few pins to wear at home….
    I’m hungry because I want to be pretty in Paris.
    I’m exercising because I love Romy.
    I’m hungry because salsa isn’t just for skinny bitches.
    I’m exercising because I’ve got big hairy balls.
    hahahaha…. well, maybe not the last one. 😀

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