Amber — April 5 — Hungover? ME?????

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Checking in at the end of  the looong weekend.  I had a lot of fun, did a lot of things.  Like on Saturday night, for instance, I  drank alcohol and coffee at the SAME time at rapid speed then walked aimlessly around downtown laughing at the world with My Crazy Friend (MCF).  At one point the coffee and alcohol that WAS in my mouth somehow ended up on Granville Street.  I also remember coming up with some awesome song lyrics, although I sadly don’t remember the lyrics themselves.  The walking around downtown was, of course, followed by walking back in the direction of home, which was then, of course, followed by more drinking at MCF’s local neighborhood pub…and the rest is history…the foggy kind of history where the dates and names of people are unclear and therefore you hesitate to put your hand up in class, although you have a general idea and are satisfied with that.  NO, I did not do anything I regret.  Well okay…maybe…the…and…I…with the…You know what, forget it!  I REGRET NOTHING!  😉

The following day I went to My Lifer Friends (MLF) place to do some gardening, which was good for the body and the spirit!  “HARD WORK, HARD WORK will teach ya!”…was what I heard resounding off the bruised inner walls of my brain.  Oy vey.  Thank goodness for ibuprofen.  Thank goodness for earthworms, shovels, good friends, lemon/lime ice water, two-year olds throwing dirt, unnaturally large centipedes, and the QUIVERING FEAR OF GOD.

So, to explain, this weekend (yesterday in fact), I hit the one-year mark in my separation/divorce process from my ex-husband.  It’s kind of surreal, actually.  Time just drudges on.  I did not believe this year would pass so…fluidly.  When I first left my husband, I thought that it would be eons before anything changed or real progress towards resolve in our relationship would occur; but in one year almost EVERYTHING changed, resolve did come (forgiveness, even), and I am now officially a single woman with the world at my feet…however hesitant those feet may be at the moment!  Amazing!  Time does heal.  It’s a very quiet kind of healing that you only notice when you look back and become aware of how much better you feel now then you did “back then”.   I. Feel. So. Much. Better.

I also realized that when I first left my ex I was 203 lbs!  That’s right…203 lbs!!  So, although I am still quite overweight at 187 lb, I managed to lose 16 lbs over the course of this one-year separation, and I am very proud of myself for that.  This is the first year in five years that I have actually LOST weight and not gained.  YEHAW!  Worth celebrating!

And God knows I celebrated like a madwoman this weekend…pretty sure I”m about 2 lbs heavier than I was on Friday.  So, back to the grind for me this week.  Back. To. The. GRIND!

Here are my goals for this week:

1.  Eat breakfast and pack a lunch and snack every day that consists of protein and complex carbohydrates.  Eat light, green-coloured dinners!

2.  Drink at least 8 glasses of water.

3.  Go to Curves at least three times and jog with my Super Awesome Workout Buddy (SAWB).  Check out her fabulous blog!

4.  Finish reading The Poisonwood Bible (which, by the way, is probably the most beautifully written book I have ever had the joy of reading — props to My Roommate for the recommendation and lender).

5.  Work four hours more per week than I usually do in order to save up for body art!

Okey dokey.  The goals are set.  I was goalless last week, and it didn’t work out so well.  This week will be much better.  That’s what it’s all about — trying again, getting back on the horse, returning to the center,  back to the swing of things, etc etc etc.  Clichés are allowed, my friends, oh yes yes they are.

EMBELLISHMENTS:

– My Favorite Barista saw that I was slightly hungover yesterday upon arrival to pick up much-needed coffee before attempting much-needed work.  I spilled my guts about accidental first time over-drinking due to alcohol-infused celebration of reaching the one year clean and sober from Former Bad Marriage mark.  He kindly wrote me a checklist of things to remember for the next time I plan on heavy drinking (which is, like, far far far away from right now…far FAR away!).  The list included (but is not limited to) the avoidance of acidic foods before imbibing alcoholic substances, the ingestion of B-complex before bed (if you are sound of mind enough to accomplish this!), and the consumption of Gatorade and egg mcmuffins in the morning.  He also gave me a free piece of banana bread…and four leftover cupcakes to take to the office with me.  Super nice gesture, but I’m thinking it’s time for me to start being more clear with people about the trying-to-lose-weight thing, eh?  Isn’t it obvious, you know, by how much more abundant my vasculature is than most other women my age and height?  The words “no thanks” always freeze in my mouth like a reverse globus when people offer me food because I don’t want to seem unappreciative or snobby!  You know what I’m saying, right?  There are those people who are super self-righteous about what they DON’T eat and say things like “oh, no thanks, I’m watching my waistline *unlike you, fatty*” or “not for me, thanks *but I’m sure you’ll shove that down your gullet without a thought*” or (and this is my favorite) “I don’t eat sugar *I hate my life, I hate my life*“.  WTF??  Seriously, you don’t eat sugar?  Well…damn! Anyhow, I don’t EVER want to be one of “those people”.  For future reference, everyone — “DO NOT FEED  the animals at the zoo” (i.e. me) even if they are weeping over their bleak existence right in front of you.  I promise not to do that though…weep over my bleak existence in front of you, I mean. Laa-ame.

–  Oh, but wait, I should confess that My Favorite Barista  sat down to chat with me for a few minutes because I most likely looked (on top of hungover) pretty sad and contemplative (which, I most certainly was due to writing in My Journal about all the stuff I’ve had to overcome in the past year…can’t help but be a bit broody after that!).  “Edward!”. Anyway, I totally spilled my guts about Former Bad Marriage and had a wee episode of public teariness.  Um, yeah.

So, a thank you is in order…

Dear Favorite Barista:  If/when you read this, thanks for being there to listen and act so kindly.  You were raised well, I’m sure of it, if not by your own parents than probably by a pack of exceptionally compassionate wolves with superior moral values, who unselfishly released you back into civilization to fulfill your human destiny.  Awesome. I’m sure when The Person At Starbucks Who Hired You saw that on your resume, they were like “This guy…this guy’s what it’s all about!”, after which they promptly cooked up a double shot and cheersed the coffee gods enthusiastically!

K.  But, seriously now, thank you!

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