Okay kiddies, here it is… the basic building blocks for a successful weight loss program:
1. Make sure you do your homework and read your ENTIRE Weight Watchers book where it says you are allowed 35 flex points in addition to your daily points value (33 for me). You may just be GAINING weight and starving to death, instead of losing weight. and you don’t want that to lead to detention, do you?
2. Pay attention to your weight loss plan and try to keep it together! ADHD does not mean Attention Defiant Hefty Dinner. It may mean All Dates Head for the Door, though.
3. Make sure you don’t go to your sister’s house and eat thick slices of seed encrusted bread with organic chunky peanut butter and some concoction called “palm oil with sugar” that tastes like heaven just arrived in your mouth – namely sweet swirly caramel-y coconut spread. Please do not comment if you know the name of this… the guilt and shame of the sins I have committed need not tempt the innocent.
4. Make sure you fit exercise in wherever you can… even if this means coming home at 11:30 at night when your neighbours are not home, getting on the treadmill, and sweating it up until 12:15!! Heck, you probably got up at 3 in the morning as a baby and cried out your little lusty lungs for hours. Go on……
TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!!
5. Listen to your teachers! Paint your fingernails and toenails. What does this have to do with losing weight you ask? Well, okay nothing. But if you have this huge lofty goal that you are trying to reach and it seems everything depends on the top blocks, an accidental topple of the entire stack can lead to a full-blown tantrum and a sudden puddle of tears. Besides, class, the argument could be said that for older girls, taking care of our girly body parts is just like taking care of a diet plan and what does perfection take? Practice, practice, practice! They both take planning, work, are totally fun at times, have great results, and contribute to (mental) health and happiness if continued over the span of a lifetime! Besides, every 2 year old girl loves a bit of sparkle and shine, and nothing says ‘I’m special’ like a garish feather boa and wet nails, so break out the polish!! – oh, and if there’s just NO part of you that has sparkle written over it <insert women’s hockey league here>. You Go Girl!!
- Instant Cream of Wheat. Much better than the homemade cereal my mother created and called “lump-a-bumps”. Nuff said. 3 pts.
- Coffee. Sweet elixer of pheremone delight. 2 pts.
- 1 cup of blueberries. Hey, its a primary color right? 1 pt.
- Jared and I are best friends… hahaha… just kidding!! We shared a Subway sub together, but somehow I ended up eating the whole footlong. 😉 hahaha.. and ewwww. 13 points!
- Granola bar… looked at recipe of “healthy rice crispy bar” and thought, nah… these are fine. Childish delusions. 2 pts.
- oh yeah… nothing. oh wait!!!!!! Animal crackers. Really. 6 pts.
- 1 cup M&M chili. 5 points.
- One huge Yukon Gold baked potato with buttah dahling. 5 pts.
- Cheese during a weak moment. 4 pts.
- A WW chocolate cake 4 pts.
So my grand total is 33!! Let me get my calculator and double check those numbers, class. Ummm yeah……43 pts. This definitely means detention.
- Feeling like I could have done my new exercise video if I hadn’t been so wittily challenged for this blog. Wah-waaaah.
- Feeling sad because my babysitter (who is a wonderful person!) has to have surgery and is not feeling very well at all. Although, the prayer wagon’s got her hitched up now, so I am at peace with that. Also, other close friends on my mind (and wagons hitched!).
- Realizing I spend a LOT of time in grocery stores…No, its not to feed my habit. That’s one vow I’ve never taken.. haha 😉 . I don’t like it. I’m feel like the equivalent of a food alcoholic.
- I walked into Penningtons on the weekend and looked at the mannequins and said to myself “no. I don’t want to BE here”… and much later went home to eat. Lost in translation.
- I was reading my financial class manual about how I can start changing how I look at the world and realized I could do that to my home life. I can change the way I feel about time management at home, eating late at night, food triggers, eating challenges, and even shopping. My world doesn’t have to be shaped like it is now… I am open to change and to moving around the blocks.
- Dear children, do as I say, not as I do. I should be a camel. Best effort tomorrow!
Exercise for today:
- Aaaack. None.
Weight 263.6! 5 lb down, but I think this is a mistake.. in the p.m. I weighed in at 266.8. Hmmm….
Good things about today: Having good friends to love and be around and miss and pray for. Letting God take over the poetry. The sound of a bittersweet tango mimicking the fell and swoop of my heart. The fact that I listed all the stuff I ate today. I don’t want to hide… because the scale knows and I know and soon I’ll want to do better every day. Finally, the childish simplicity that tomorrow is another day.. another moment to laugh, another chance to dream silly daydreams, another day where we play we are the superheros of our lives and justice always wins. We all have worth, we all have value.